Overcoming The Fear Of Death - or - “Yes, I signed up for this.”

Society everywhere is in conspiracy against the manhood of every one of its members. The virtue in most request is conformity. Self-reliance is its aversion. It loves not realities and creators, but names and customs. ~ Emerson

I was saddened to hear of the recent illness and deaths that occurred at a spiritual retreat center in Arizona. I'll spare the details (a web search will provide more accounts and opinions than you'll care to read), but the basic recap is this: A group of people were attending a personal development workshop in Arizona. At one point during the workshop, they were all engaged in a sweat lodge ceremony (I'm uncertain of the particular methodology, or if it was modeled after any particular Native tradition). During the ceremony, many participants fell ill, and two died. On the rational level, clearly something went very, very wrong in that ceremony.

Having participated in numerous sweat lodge ceremonies, numerous personal development workshops, and, on more than one occasion, events which posed a direct threat to my physical and emotional well being, I expect a much higher level of integrity from the organizers. Warrior Sage practices a level of 'impeccability' that comprehensively covers the way staff and volunteers act with one another, the way they interact with participants, the way participants act with participants - every single detail is covered and addressed. Satyen spent many, many years training with Shaolin masters, so as you might expect, his attention to detail is very high. Most importantly, however is this simple covenant by which we agree to work together: that each of us is 100% responsible for ourselves AND 100% responsible for the safety and growth for everyone around us. This philosophy is at odds with the 'rugged individualist' approach to life that we so love here in the West. This communal responsibility approach sings the counterpoint to "pull yourself up by the bootstraps!" No - pull each other up, and thereby you'll find you're all standing on ground more firm and resilient than any you could till of your own accord.

Even so - the participants for such events, while often zealous and occasionally naieve, are rarely (if ever) unaware of the potential dangers. And in every case I've ever seen, the answer to one question provides all the detail you need to make a fair assessment of the outcome: "Yes, I signed up for this."

Perhaps I'm lucky, but my experience with Warrior Sage (and organizations like it) stands at direct odds with the media's perception of these kinds of events as being run by scam artists, quasi-new-age gurus, and people out to make a quick buck. Sure, these people and organizations exist - but one need only take a look at Tony Robbins' vast reach and positive influence on the world to see that painting with a broad brush here can in no way reveal some vast, dark conspiracy to invite hopeful participants to their untimely demise.

Druid author and scholar, Brendan Meyers warns readers to "avoid all "training" or "empowering" events which employ anti-rational psychological devices like NLP". His blog post continues to outline his philosophy that the Intellect is the first and last line of defense against "fear, conformity, and domination and other attacks on your freedom, from the small scale of office bullying, to the large scale of political oppression and totalitarianism."

If we're engaging the intellect here, statistically speaking, personal development programs have to be at the far (low) end of the spectrum in terms of 'danger to one's person'. Myers' intellect would be better aimed at the conspiracy against personal empowerment that increasingly evident in all avenues of media consumption. Adding to the sensational media coverage on this topic, and from the perspective of not even having first-hand knowledge of Ray's event (and limited experience with personal development organizations on the whole) seems inflammatory and out of place.

Contrary to popular idiom, one bad apple doesn't spoil the whole barrel, and the illness and death of a few individuals doesn't invalidate the real, tangible work being done on the forefront of personal development in the world today. Meyers should understand this more intimately than most, as Pagans in North America have a long and storied history of being stereotyped and labeled as fringe dwellers. The Druid pot calling the New Age kettle black - could there ever be a more misguided gesture?

In my experience of personal development organizations, very few of these types of workshops pose any direct physical threat. I've spoken about some of my experiences with these types of workshops before, and while I have, on occasion faced very real, very physical danger to my person, never once have I done so because I was 'brainwashed', or even coerced into doing so. Each and every time I was given a very clear choice, with full knowledge of the potential ramifications. This notion of taking complete responsibility for our own choices and actions doesn't sit well with those who like their spirituality in vanilla flavor, devoid of bodily expression and conscious action. As is evidenced by the response from the media (i.e. a sensationalist response of fear and non-acceptance of these 'fringe dwellers' and 'new age' gurus), the danger here is not to our person, but rather it is a direct attack on societal norms and indoctrinated 'self image'.

I attribute much of my current success, much of my growth in awareness, in community connection, in depth of presence and passion, to the personal development work I've been doing over the past several years. I've never once felt brainwashed, never once felt that my 'mind' was at risk. I've only, always, ever felt that what was at stake was my very sense of 'identity' as I've come to know it. This sense of identity, for you pop-psychologists out there, is what many would call Ego.

Contrary to Myers belief that the best line of defense against fear is the mind, my experience tells me the best way to tame the beast of the Ego (which is the harbor of fear) is to get past the intellect and move firmly into the world of Heart and the world of Action. Living life in this world is a bodily practice - not an intellectual pursuit.

In my experience, the mind is the first source of fear, conformity and domination. The best line of defense against those is the way of the Heart In Action. You can't overcome fear through Cartesian couch-surfing - you have to get up and DO SOMETHING.

We were all born into this world with one thing in common: we all signed up for it (on some spiritual, cosmic, or existential level), and we all knew that the only guarantee after birth is DEATH. That's right - the only thing you're ever assured of in this physical incarnation is that 'this, too, shall pass' - by which I mean this body.

But more importantly, through personal development work like Warrior Sage, I've come to realize that even DEATH is not something to be feared. That is the Warrior Ethos in action. To live life full out, knowing - bodily and intellectually - that at ANY MOMENT we could die, and one of these moments we WILL die. All the more reason, then, to resist the temptation to play armchair quarterback - to sit back and enjoy our intellectual pursuits in the comfort and safety of our homes. No - the cry of the Warrior is the call to Action, to break free of conformity, and to wage battle against the ever-consuming weight of societal expectations. To get outside, to live in community, to act on our beliefs and consciously move in the direction that serves the highest good (whatever that means for you).

Here it is in a nutshell: I don't know James Ray. I don't know anything about his workshops. What happened at his event is a tragedy, and within the type of 'container' I've come to expect from a personal development event, the death of a participant seems almost inexcusable.

And yet...what I do know is that almost every person I've met at these types of events and workshops knows exactly what they're getting into, and if physical danger is a possibility - they're made aware of it, and they're made to sign a waiver. "Hey - if you go in that sweat lodge, it will get really hot. If you start feeling ill while inside, ask them to open the door." Yes, there is danger - and people do it anyway, because they know the quickest route to overcoming fear is the ACTION of facing it. When you're physically able to overcome, for example, the fear of extreme heat, a new sense of self-awareness arises. A self that is more open, more free, and more able to see beyond prior perceived limitations. The more we, as individuals, face our edge, the more we're able to see that the limitations we've placed on ourselves - the ones instantiated by the mind - aren't actually present AT ALL. Instead, what remains is more of the True You and less of the Imagined You. What remains is the Self that is unassailable. The Divine You that was here before you were born and will remain after you die.

Yes, I did sign up for this life. Yes, I know there's a chance in every moment that I could die, and that eventually I will die. All the more reason for me to take every possible action to lose all the beliefs, limitations and imaginings that aren't the clearest possible reflection of who I am, in an effort to reveal - by whatever means necessary - that which I truly am. That's the Way of the Warrior.

I honor those that fell at the spiritual journey in Arizona last week. Something terribly wrong must have happened for that many people to fall ill at an event like that. But I know what they were searching for - and I honor them for that even more than I mourn their departure from this plane. They walked the Warrior Way, just as I must continue to walk it myself. Rest not in your armchairs, intellectual quarterbacks. You can't change the world if you're not living, breathing and acting in it.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get out of this chair.